I’ve riffed here before on weird new diseases and the Seussian-sounding drugs that cure them.
There’s “WetAMD.” There’s “Pneumococcal Pneumonia.” Here comes something called “Tyktu”!
I don’t know what Tyktu is, but it causes moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. Tyktu apparently is pneumococc-blocked by a drug called Sotyktu, which is billed as “a Tyktu inhibitor.”
A word man can’t help but wonder why a “Tyktu inhibitor” would be called “Sotyktu”; if it was worth a damn, wouldn’t it be called, “Notyktu”? Or how about the more attention-getting “Fucktyktu (and the horse it rode in on)”?
In any case, the other drug you can take if you have moderate to severe plaque psoriasis (because you choose not to floss)—is a drug called “Skyrizi.” Which sounds like it could become a super popular name for suburban white girls, like five years from now. “You got this, Skyrizi!”
But Skyrizi the drug has a commercial that presents a deeply existential point of view. “Nothing is everything to me,” the jingle goes. Isn’t that a Jean Paul Sartre book?
Another Skyrizi jingle touts the pigtailed princess’s ability to fight moderate to severe Crohn’s disease. (Not since the days of traveling medicine men has each of our magic elixirs solved so many problems! Uh-oh, Ozempic.) Anyway: The Skyrizi commercials for Crohn’s disease use a similar melody to offer an even darker philosophy: “Control is everything to me.”
Skyrizi: Nice kid, but she can’t decide whether she’s an existential philosopher, or a jackbooted dictator.
And so on, and so forth.
These drug commercials are almost as diverting as drugs themselves.
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