The only thing worse than a vicious moron is a vicious moron who has been taught the meaning of the term “ad hominem.”

You’ve said or done a thing, and everybody is mad. What do you tell yourself?

These things, in roughly this sequence:

“I don’t care what people think of me.”

I could have said/done much worse.

I’m a good guy a lot of the time, and nobody ever notices that.

Oh, and I guess the person I hurt is perfect, right?

I yam what I yam. (The Popeye defense.)

Then, and only then, do you apologize—”for failing to live up to my own high standards.”