The silent conversation I had with an e-mail promotion I got from PR News:
Friend? What is this, a church bulletin?
I'd like to invite you to take a moment to view your complimentary special issue of PR News.
You'd like to invite me to take a moment to view? Well, do it then!
I encourage you to immerse yourself in this special issue and take away all that PR News offers.
Wait, I thought I was just s'posed to take a moment to view. Now I have to immerse myself in this, like it's some kind of professional development bubble bath?
Our goal at PR News is to provide information and knowledge that will help you handle any crisis or execute a communications program with the best tools and insights at hand.
Your "goal" is to teach me everything I know to handle any crisis or execute a brilliant communications program? And you're going to do this with a newsletter? Frankly, I'm skeptical.
PR News gives you strategic ideas, guidance and tactical examples to guide you as you execute your business plan and prepare for new campaigns.
Gee, I'm about to execute my business plan and prepare for my new campaign. I sure wish I had a few strategic ideas, some guidance and a handful of tactical examples. Quick, where's that eight-page newsletter!
And we touch on all the key areas of PR and communications that affect your business including:
integrated marketing communications
When I read this list of communication categories, I feel like you're peering into my soul!
At this time, we are offering a special subscription rate. Subscribe now and you can get PR News for only $597, $200 off the regular rate. …
Read this blog for free, $999 off the regular rate.
On behalf of the entire team at PR News, thank you for your time. Enjoy your issue, and don’t forget to take advantage of this special opportunity to subscribe.
Why are you offering a special rate "at this time"? Why are you offering it to me? You've given me a free issue and offered me a special rate, so why are you and your "entire team" thanking me? And finally, I'm right in the middle of the letter; at this point, just how senile would I have to be to "forget" to subscribe?
Sincerely, Courtney Barnes Editor, PR News 110 Williams St, 11th Floor New York, NY 10038
I believe your name is Courtney Barnes, and that you are editor of PR News, and that you work where you say you work. But that's the only sincerity I can detect in this whole letter.
P.S. This is a limited-time special offer. Don't wait, subscribe right now.
Subscribe to what, again?