What would you say about a guy who needed money so bad he'd promise you just about anything to get it?
Julius Erving or Bo Jackson or Joe Theissman or Lamar Green or Marvin Freeman or Eric Soderholm or Verne Allison—whether you've heard of them or not, this guy will arrange for you to play golf with them.
If you'll only help him out with some money!
He'll take you alligator hunting in Florida! ("You get to bag up to two alligators in total and keep them.")
Or you can play pool with the "Striking Viking," the smokin' hot pool playin' dame from the north, Ewa Mata Laurance.
Or maybe your tastes are less aesthetic, in which case this guy will arrange for you to "scrub up and observe two high tech surgeries." (That's right, not one, but TWO!)
Oh, you like politics! How'd you like to spend the day with Rev. Senator James T. Meeks at the Illinois State Capital? (All right, it's not a VIP tour of the White House—but the guy'll hook you up with one of those too.)
He'll put you with Earth Wind and Fire, let you drive a race car, send you to Cincinnati or St. Louis for the weekend.
What would you say about a guy like that?
Would you maybe say the guy is a little desperate?
Well, I know the guy. He runs Chicago's Forest Preserve golf courses, where I play a lot and about which I've written.
And yeah, he's a little desperate.
Jered Wieland is a man of faith, but his wife Lana has breast cancer that the doctors in the U.S. have given up trying to cure.
He and their kids are praying. And they're hustling.
There's a promising new treatment, but it's overseas and he needs to wire the dough for the first course by February 1, the second course by the end of February.
"If the fundraiser does not go well there will be no second month of treatment, even if the therapy is working, which we truly believe it will."
The Lana's Hope "fundraiser" is not an event—it's an ongoing eBay raffle and online auction, for all those items listed above, and for a bunch of other, equally whimsical activities. (In case you're not into pool babes, alligators, surgery or golf, you can just donate, too.)
And now Jered is coming to a snarky and crusty bastard like me and asking me to try to spread the word.
I told you: The guy is desperate.
Everybody's got the causes they support and everybody's strapped, so I can't tell you we all ought to help Jered out.
But like I said, I know the guy.
And I can tell you, he'd do the same for us, if we were desperate.