A one paragraph pick-me-up
Writers looking for inspiration should read Roger Angell's memoir, Let Me Finish. Or if you're not vacationing in Mexico, just this single paragraph will do. It's the opening of "King of the Forest," an essay about Angell's father Ernest:
Now, who's got another steroid shot to share?
‘The ideal candidate’
Returning home from round-the-clock eating, drinking, golfing and sleeping to snow on the ground and an economy that's going to get worse before it gets better and a father who's not going to get better at all, I'm able to do little more, this morning, than clean out my slush file.
Happily, it contains this job description for a technology company's speechwriting position that has since closed (probably from wont of sufficiently insane applicants):
In order to be successful in this high profile role, you must have
superior written and oral communication skills, with a broad-based
education and an interest in as many subjects as possible. The ideal
candidate will be an avid reader, a confirmed techno geek, will have
had direct public speaking and presentation experience of their own,
and a proven ability to balance competing demands in a dynamic
environment. Finally, to blend well with the team, you should exude
contagious energy, and a great sense of humor!
It reminds me of my friend who applied for a communication job and the interviewer listed a dozen high-level strategic responsibilities.
"Excellent," my friend said cheerily, "Because in my last job it seemed I spent about half my time negotiating paper prices with the printer."
"Oh," said his interviewer. "You'll have to do that here, too."