Gen X-and-older colleagues will remember a series of old Miller High Life commercials, that taught us all what life was about: hard work all day and hard drinking right after. These commercials showed train engineers, lobstermen, farmers, loggers—clocking out and repairing to a warm tavern to chug beer and yuk it up with the boys.
Voice Over: “You dance on a river of wood, and the spinning shapes and the cold dark water … and you keep on dancing, until the last log is in place and you can head for Miller time. Time for the best-tasting beer you can find …”
Problem is, fewer and fewer beer drinkers actually do that kind of work anymore. But even us office geeks like to drink beer at the end of the day and feel great about it. So I took it on myself to create a Miller time commercial, for our times.
Voice Over: “You send more passive-aggressive emails in a day than most men send in a week. You’ve got carpal tunnel syndrome, impostor syndrome, and a strong sense that you’re wasting your one wild and precious life. But by God, you’re authentic, and resilient and vulnerable. So now’s the time to slam that laptop shut and head for the best-tasting beer you can find.” And the old song comes in: “If you’ve got the time, we’ve got the beer … “
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P.S. Speaking of drinking (since it is Friday after all), I feel like I’ve read everything there is to say on that rich subject. And then the author of a new book comparing her addiction to alcohol to her relationship with Catholicism writes that alcoholism “is little more than the belief that the ecstasy and joy that life doles out so sparingly and unpredictably can be had on demand, whenever you want it. It is an attempt to bottle grace.”
I’m not sure alcoholism is a “belief” in all cases … but that is how drinkers think (and why we struggle to imagine how anyone else could ever think another way). As Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin or Jack Lemmon famously maybe said, “I feel sorry for people that don’t drink because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they’re going to feel all day.”
And of course it was the great Norm Macdonald who said, “I remember a psychiatrist once telling me that I gamble in order to escape the reality of life, and I told him that’s why everyone does everything.”
Where was I going with this? Should we get one more round, just in case?
“You’ve posted more irrelevant LinkedIn stories than ever before. You’ve retweeted someone else’s brilliant take for the 6th time in one day. You’ve shared an (old) video montage of your cocker spaniel carrying a large stick–again. And it’s Friday night…”
One other problem with that ad: Miller Beer sucks!
See, these ads write themselves, Linda. But the thing is, Miller didn’t even say it was good beer. It merely was “the best-tasting beer you can find.” (If you were a union pipe fitter, in 1979.) And you know what? For those boys, it was good enough.