As if people on LinkedIn needed prompting to share their amazeballs comprehension of conventional wisdom, LinkedIn is mining for more business banality. “Powered by AI and the LinkedIn Community,” these little essay questions come to LinkedIn users, unbidden.
Yesterday afternoon I was informed, “You’ve been selected to answer”:
I’m a busy man. I had Wednesday’s Writing Boots post to write, for godsakes. I didn’t have time for—oh, hey!
Also, I was promised:
A Top Content Development Voice badge! The LinkedIn Community’s Pulitzer Prize.
First, I read the room. How had my peers answered this question?
“Measuring the impact of upskilling in content development is crucial for understanding its effectiveness and aligning with business objectives,” began one aspiring Top Content Development Voice badge-earner. “With my team, we focused on various metrics to evaluate our team’s progress post-upskilling, such as improvements in content quality, readability, and user engagement. These metrics provided tangible insights into how enhanced skills directly influenced content performance and, consequently, our business goals.”
The next answer was in German, and made more sense:
“Online Kurse und Webinare sind tolle Selbstlernformate. Jedoch sind sie nicht für jeden Lerntyp geeignet. Theoretisches Wissen bringt wenig, wenn die Person das Gelernte nicht umsetzen kann. Darum ist mein Content Campus eine langfristige Begleitung und beinhaltet eine Mischung aus theoretischem Input und praktischen Übungen.”
(You had me at Online Kurse.)
In the end, I decided to just be me:
Haven’t heard back yet, but I’m sure if I get that Top Content Development Voice badge, it’ll be in all the papers.
I picture the coveted Top Content Development Voice badge as being of roughly the same quality manufacture and endowed with the same sober meaning as a pair of captain’s wings given to toddlers on flights. I wish you every success in reaching this prestigious achievement.
I’m constantly pestered by LinkedIn to contribute to the collective drivel, to shell out my hard-earned expertise for trillion-dollar Microsoft, LinkedIn’s owner, for free. I have never contributed. Why earn a cub scout badge when I’ve earned eagle scout status many times over? But your response gives me pause. Maybe I should tell LinkedIn what I really think about their prompt next time they hold out their hat.
That’s it, SR! Let’s clog up their system with bile: nonsense advice, truth they can’t handle, vulgarities and downright meanness … until they are sorry they fucking asked.