Stunned by the violent psychological return to childhood induced by trying on summer shorts in a department store—was this Kohl's or was it Higbee's?—I was bamboozled into getting a store credit card. (I actually thought it was some loyalty program, and the lady offered me 30% off if I did it.)
When I returned to my senses at home, I called Kohl's to pay off the card and cancel it. A recorded voice informed me that I had been randomly selected to participate in a survey about the service I was about to receive.
The customer service agent who was about to help me, the voice continued, "is unaware" that I would be snitching on her performance.
The woman handled my hysterical nitwit self well enough. I didn't tell her about the survey, because I didn't want to scare her. To be honest, she sounded scared enough.
But when she hung up, I did wait for the survey. I wanted to use it to let the company have it for turning customers into secret shoppers. Secret shopping is lazy and cheap and barbaric substitute for real management in the first place. And now you're delegating the job … to your customers?
I was going to tell the survey administrator that. But alas, the survey was automated.
So I hung up and wrote a really nasty blog post and went on with my life.
But what about troubled Kohl's customers who don't have a blog?