It's time, once again, to check in on the droll observations of the mild-mannered graphic designer, Buffy Van Huis. I'll admit, there are times when Mrs. Van Huis's thoughts on life can seem overly negative. Winter in Chicago is not one of those times.
Guy on the train told the loudmouth lady to shut up. I could throw myself into his arms and kiss him…except he's old and creepy, so no.
I wasn't reading your stupid text, but after your dirty look, I now have the urge to tell you that you spelled "nosy bitch" wrong.
If you wear a Santa hat as your winter hat, I kind of want to punch you in the face. Just kidding, I TOTALLY want to punch you in the face.
"Today is a gift that's why they call it the present." Yeah? Well, I'm hoping I still have the receipt.
Leaving the house when it's dark and returning when it's dark feels like a free beer…like a free beer that was made from a sweaty sock.
I didn't ask, but the neighbor shoveled the walk and then expected payment, so I buried him in the front yard. Just kidding, it was the back yard.
You'd think a pair of shitty pants in the train station is the worst thing you've seen, until you see a bum put them on, proving you wrong.
What's worse, wondering why the seats on my train are sticky or finding the condom wrapper that removes all suspicions?
My New Year's resolution is to nutpunch anyone who asks me what my New Year's resolution is. So far, so good.