I'm looking at a press release touting a new novel whose main character is "wealthy, drop-dead gorgeous, and stalked by the paparazzi, but beneath the polished veneer he is a man fighting for emotional survival."
Oy.
I skip to the blurbs. This one catches my eye:
“…..thoroughly enjoyed it on several different levels…. the plot was as sophisticated and intriguing as anything I’ve ever read ….” —Darrell House, author of Miller the Green Caterpillar.
Here’s the “editorial review” at Amazon on Miller the Green Caterpillar:
Miller the Green Caterpillar is the story of a little caterpillar who wishes he could fly. He tries to fly and takes advice from all his friends. However, he can’t fly. Finally nature takes over and he weaves a cocoon. When he breaks out of the cocoon as a butterfly, he realizes that sometimes wishes do come true.
So if Darrell House thinks a story about a rich tabloid pretty boy is as sophisticated and intriguing as anything he’s ever read–well, it’s probably because he’s just reading his own stuff.
And the fact that the reviewer isn’t a credible author, someone like Margaret Atwood, say, but instead includes a guy who writes picture books, says it all.
But who, really, would put this endorsement in a press release? Hello?
Stop reading, Davey. And texting. I think you need a nap.
This reminds me of long-defunct Spy magazine’s regular feature, Blurb-o-Mat: Capsule Movie Reviews by Walter Monheit™, the Movie Publicist’s Friend. This, from March 1990:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by Jim Henson (New Line) [four monocles]
Walter Monheit says: “Terrapinrific! A snapping good yarn! Dontello is the thinking man’s Stallone!”
I agree with Joan…well, except for the part about Margaret Atwood (she’s one of the best-known Canadian authors we have, and I have tried – OH, have I TRIED – to like her stuff, but I don’t. Everything the woman writes makes me want to poke out my eyeballs rather than read any of her books).
When I read this post I laughed out loud and thought: “Oh, that David! I love how he writes these ironic, tongue-in-cheek posts to make me smile!”
@ Kristen, Ron and Joan: I live to serve–but my core market is Canada and points north. Rueben, where are you?