Writing Boots

On communication, professional and otherwise.

Dept. of Shit You Can’t Make Up

02.02.2009 by David Murray // 4 Comments

I'm looking at a press release touting a new novel whose main character is "wealthy, drop-dead gorgeous, and stalked by the paparazzi, but beneath the polished veneer he is a man fighting for emotional survival."

Oy.

I skip to the blurbs. This one catches my eye:

“…..thoroughly enjoyed it on several different levels…. the plot was as sophisticated and intriguing as anything I’ve ever read ….” —Darrell House, author of Miller the Green Caterpillar. 

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Comments

  1. Joan H. says

    February 2, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    Here’s the “editorial review” at Amazon on Miller the Green Caterpillar:
    Miller the Green Caterpillar is the story of a little caterpillar who wishes he could fly. He tries to fly and takes advice from all his friends. However, he can’t fly. Finally nature takes over and he weaves a cocoon. When he breaks out of the cocoon as a butterfly, he realizes that sometimes wishes do come true.
    So if Darrell House thinks a story about a rich tabloid pretty boy is as sophisticated and intriguing as anything he’s ever read–well, it’s probably because he’s just reading his own stuff.
    And the fact that the reviewer isn’t a credible author, someone like Margaret Atwood, say, but instead includes a guy who writes picture books, says it all.
    But who, really, would put this endorsement in a press release? Hello?
    Stop reading, Davey. And texting. I think you need a nap.

    Reply
  2. Ron Shewchuk says

    February 3, 2009 at 12:12 am

    This reminds me of long-defunct Spy magazine’s regular feature, Blurb-o-Mat: Capsule Movie Reviews by Walter Monheit™, the Movie Publicist’s Friend. This, from March 1990:
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, produced by Jim Henson (New Line) [four monocles]
    Walter Monheit says: “Terrapinrific! A snapping good yarn! Dontello is the thinking man’s Stallone!”

    Reply
  3. Kristen says

    February 3, 2009 at 8:39 am

    I agree with Joan…well, except for the part about Margaret Atwood (she’s one of the best-known Canadian authors we have, and I have tried – OH, have I TRIED – to like her stuff, but I don’t. Everything the woman writes makes me want to poke out my eyeballs rather than read any of her books).
    When I read this post I laughed out loud and thought: “Oh, that David! I love how he writes these ironic, tongue-in-cheek posts to make me smile!”

    Reply
  4. David Murray says

    February 3, 2009 at 9:06 am

    @ Kristen, Ron and Joan: I live to serve–but my core market is Canada and points north. Rueben, where are you?

    Reply

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