Something I've been thinking about for various reasons lately. —ed.

I don't begrudge religious people their praying. Far from it. They're often my only hope.

Them: "I'll be praying for you."

Me: "Good!"

Praying people pray.

We agnostics don't pray, of course. Nor do the atheists.

No, instead, we worry.

Worrying, though, is also a kind of prayer, a sneaky little childish superstitious prayer. A step-on-a-crack-and-break-your-mother's-back kind of prayer.

Worry is a prayer that says, "God, I doubt you're up there, but in case you are, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't take away the one thing I worry about all day long. (read: child getting leukemia, losing job, getting caught for tax evasion.) Right, God?"

Worry is a piss-poor prayer.

Which is why we don't say, "I'll keep you in my worries."

If you pray, pray.

If you don't pray, don't worry.