Andy Rooney signed off 60 Minutes Sunday, but said he wasn't retiring because writers never retire. (My writer dad would have muttered at the TV that Rooney was more of a typist than a writer. Writers never retire, but they do get grumpier with age.)

I'm grateful to be a writer because retirement sucks, especially for people who like their work. Were you surprised by recent revelations that Chicago Bears legend Walter Payton was depressed and sometimes suicidal after his playing days?

I wasn't. And you know what I said to myself as I read the stories?

"Oh Walter. You didn't know what to do with yourself, did you? Why didn't you come to me? I would have told you to write!"

Foolish, I know. But it was my first thought neverthless.

No matter what happens to me, I can always write.

(And the worse it gets, the better the material.)

Eat your heart out, Derek Jeter.