Writing Boots

On communication, professional and otherwise.

Some tardy, homely thoughts on what makes President Zelensky so great

04.06.2022 by David Murray // Leave a Comment

To the United Nations yesterday, Volodymyr Zelensky said:

I am addressing you on behalf of the people who honor the memory of the deceased everyday. Everyday, in the morning.

The memory of the killed civilians.

Who were shot in the back of the head or in the eye after being tortured. Who were shot just on the streets.

Who were thrown into the well, so that they die there in suffering.

Who were killed in apartments, houses, blown up by grenades. Who were crushed by tanks in civilian cars in the middle of the road. For fun.

Whose limbs were cut off, whose throat was cut. Who were raped and killed in front of their own children.

Their tongues were torn out only because they did not hear from them what they wanted to hear.

“Are you ready to close the U.N.?” Mr. Zelensky asked. “Do you think that the time of international law is gone? If your answer is no, then you need to act immediately.”

I feel I’ve been remiss, not writing about the Ukrainian president more here at Writing Boots—though we do run most of his best speeches at ProRhetoric.com.

Part of it’s because I’ve been traveling for much of the time this Ukraine war has been on, and catching these speeches in fragments. Part of it is because the whole subject is so depressing—even more so, maybe, contemplated from inside my neighborhood, Chicago’s grief-stricken Ukrainian village.

But partly I haven’t written about Zelensky because I’m better at illuminating the badness of failed communications than at celebrating the genius of great communications. (I was the same way during Churchill’s finest hour, ask anyone.)

Especially when the genius isn’t rhetorical tricks and personal charisma—but rather pure integrity and perspective and intellect and discipline.

Yes, I’ve noted the customized cultural references that a speechwriter is surely helping to furnish for each audience Zelensky addresses. But I’ve been more quietly impressed by a constant argument that’s both insistent and understanding: An expression of impatience, patiently expressed—outrage, calmly communicated.

For 40 days Zelensky has been asking the U.S. and NATO for more. For 40 days the U.S. and NATO have given more—without feeling insulted by Zelensky’s inevitable return, which is: “We appreciate what you are doing but it is not enough. We need more.”

He makes his grim and repeated request without accusing the U.S. and NATO of being cowardly, or without taking a tone of exasperation—even though with bombs falling on your country and mass murder taking place in your streets, exasperation is probably something he feels every day.

“Hey stupid” is no way to start an argument, as my buddy Mike Long says. “Hey yella bellies” isn’t, either. And as Will Smith reminded us last week, going off the handle is usually not good for the personal brand.

And Zelenksy’s identity, as a clearly sophisticated, sane and courageous representative of a Ukrainian population that most Americans knew little about about going into this war—that is worth everything, even to a country that may not feel it has any more to lose.

Zelensky is a Ukrainian hero. And the way his savvy example has helped unite every country but China and India, not just against Russia, but in earnest support of Ukraine—I’d say he’s a hero to everyone yet alive on the planet Earth.

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Past, as prologue: The Masters is mostly good because it’s just so awful

04.05.2022 by David Murray // 1 Comment

Once a friend of mine and I were trying to talk his wife into letting us move a TV into the center of an Easter party.

“So you can watch golf?” she said accusingly.

“It’s not golf!” we both exclaimed in harmony worthy of Simon and Garfunkel. “It’s the Masters!”

Before the 2022 Masters, I’m up late drinking bourbon and watching the final round of the 1981 Masters, the first one I ever watched with any interest, as a kid. I don’t remember much about it including who won, so this should be exciting. Except it’s a golf tournament, that’s been over for 41 years.

I watched this before I was a Democrat and before I had any socio-political attitudes that introduced “guilt” into this particular pleasure. That’s probably why I found it so boring. To cut the tedium, I did a lot of putting with my dad’s old putter, on the plush turquoise living room carpet, into a whiskey glass.

Back then, the players didn’t bring their own caddies to the Masters—they had to use the club caddies, who were all Black. All. But I don’t remember noticing that, as I was studying Uncritical Race Theory at the time, along with all my white suburban Ohio friends.

In 1981 Vin Scully was the main announcer. Scully could call you an rapscallion and make you feel like a prince. Ken Venturi was the analyst. Venturi could call you a prince and make you feel like a rapscallion.

Do you know the story of the Masters theme song? This was the year it was written, when Kenny Loggins’ cousin Dave was attending the tournament, and inspired. “I stopped for a minute, looked up at the pine trees and the wind down there was just different in some regards,” Loggins told PGA.com. “Spiritually it was different. That course was just a piece of art. I looked over at some dogwoods and, man, I just started writing the song in my head which is what I do when I get inspired.” According to lore, Loggins got $3,000 for writing it but never had a royalties deal. He’s 74 now.

Our coverage begins with Tom Watson, having birdied the eighth hole, now leading by two. Watson, who along with Jack Nicklaus and Ben Crenshaw, also on this leader board, would go on to become a big Trump supporter in old age, is an adorable, gap-toothed Huck Finn character here.

(Since I did become a Democrat, I’ve always kept a mental list of “Possible Democrats on the PGA Tour.” David Duval is the only one I know of. When Obama was running for president in 2008 I pitched a survey story about PGA golfers’ politics to Golf Magazine or Golf Digest. “You don’t want to know,” the editor said.)

[You know I don’t dismiss every Trump-voter as a hopeless jerk: But the country club Trumper? Yeah, that’s hard to take. That’s why enjoying the Masters requires a fair amount of magical thinking.]

Sorry I’m not writing much about this tournament, but goddamn is it boring. At least it was, until I saw this shot of John Mahaffey shambling down the 11th fairway with a putter in one hand and a cigarette in the other. (Please also note the possibility-enhancing ability, in those days, to unbutton a golf shirt down almost to one’s belly button.)

In this time-travel adventure, there is a man named Hubert on the leaderboard. The 1967 Masters champ Gay Brewer is also in the field, because past champions always get to play, no matter how over-the-hill they are. Brewer four-putts the 18th green.

Peculiar: Many of the caddies at the Masters were super animated, using their bodies to urge their players’ balls into the hole—expressing disappointment when they didn’t and antic joy when they did. Check out Nicklaus’ caddy Willie Peterson in 1975. I didn’t notice that when I was young, either. What did I notice?

Anyway: I read that eleven years after Peterson died in 1999, Nicklaus donated money to pay for a headstone.

Tom Watson just dumped one into Rae’s Creek, on the 13th hole, creating suspense having nothing to do with John Mahaffey’s cleavage. Venturi, one of the greatest squandered talents in the history of golf, calls Watson’s mistake “inexcusable.” Johnny Miller, who is on this leaderboard as a player, would eventually take Venturi’s place publicly and without evidence accusing pro golfers of choking. These bastards should have been struck by lightning.

Watson makes par, maintaining his two-stroke lead.

Mahaffey takes a mighty lash with his driver on the 15th and British announcer Ben Wright exclaims, “Goodness me!”

Jack Nicklaus makes a birdie 15 to pull into second place behind Watson.

But Watson hits a four-wood onto the 15th green and makes one of his own.

“That was a glorious stroke,” says Ben Wright. “One he will remember to his dotage.”

(I’m remembering my Uncle David, for whom I was named, and who I loved. A Republican, from Middletown, Ohio. A golfer. A boozer. A funny guy. Was surely watching this action with a big gin and tonic, and a Pall Mall burning in his hand. And whose aging Black cook, Esterlean, was likely preparing Sunday dinner, in the kitchen.)

Nicklaus makes a tremendous long putt on 16, for another birdie to remain two behind. Watson looks sick to his stomach, back on the tee.

“Quiet as a coal mine,” says an announcer whose voice I don’t recognize.

But Nicklaus falters on 17 and Watson makes par on 16 and remains two ahead.

I am looking forward to Jack Nicklaus’ recession from the public stage. And not just because of the shoes he wore in 1981, nor because he endorsed Trump in 2020, saying, “This is not a personality contest; it’s about patriotism. His love for America and its citizens, and putting his country first, has come through loud and clear.” But because he is a mean-spirited, humorless, smug prick who I am sure feels just great about having paid a couple hundred bucks to give his old caddie a headstone.

Watson just hit one into the greenside bunker on 17, for no good reason—the only remaining hope for excitement tonight. “I can’t believe he’d leave it in the bunker on the second shot,” Venturi says. And then Watson makes par, again.

As Nicklaus walks up the 18th fairway, Scully says, “Jack Nicklaus, the familiar figure, striding up 18. It is that time of day, that soft light of a Georgia afternoon, when you get the feeling that the pine trees and the magnolias are standing on their toes to get a better look—and well they might.”

That’s the sort of Masters bullshit we love so well—the linguistic equivalent of the treacly Masters theme song. Sitting Masters bullshitter Jim Nantz was but 22 years old when Scully said that. But clearly, young Nantz was listening well.

Nicklaus narrowly misses a birdie putt on 18, finishing his chances. “Well I’ll tell you one thing,” Scully says, “when he first hit that putt, for one brief shining moment, it was Camelot.”

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Monday Morning Photo: All the golf skirts under the rainbow

04.04.2022 by David Murray // Leave a Comment

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