I swear it’s a coincidence that last week I issued a paragraph-by-paragraph takedown of PR mogul Richard Edelman’s lame and disingenuous prescription for uniting our “insular” society … and that this week I’m doing the same thing to Axios CEO Jim VandeHei’s “Blunt AI Talk” that he supposedly wrote to his kids—and then published, on Axios, for the benefit of all kids.
But how can I not?
The editor’s note that appeared atop the piece, posted on Axios late last week, claimed: “Axios CEO Jim VandeHei wrote this note to his wife, Autumn, and their three kids. She suggested sharing it more broadly since so many families are wrestling with how to think and talk about AI. So here it is …”
I’m including VandeHei’s stuff in screen shots (because I refuse to work to get WordPress to ape Axios’ asinine formatting). My stuff is in regular Boots text.
First: If he’s not trying to frighten his children, what would he tell them if he was? Second: Sources, Jim? What exactly are you “hearing, seeing” about AI, and from whom? Not AI, I hope. Third: I don’t love it when fellow members of my species condescend to tell me how my species is “wired”; I can only imagine how I might react to having my quarter-zip-clad dad telling me how my species is “wired.” Fourth: Talking about this letter on “Morning Joe” Friday, VandeHei said he’s a tech dummy and has only been fooling with AI seriously for a few weeks. He said you have to sit down and learn it, but it doesn’t take long to learn. So what’s the difference, really, if the kids learn it this weekend, or next?
So that’s where you’ve been the last few weeks, Dad. Building apps, prototyping new businesses and making your good ideas exponentially better! I wondered why you didn’t show up at my violin recital and why you kept trailing off while trying to apologize to me. Now I know. You were building digital sandcastles in the sky! And now aren’t I the analog horse’s ass?
Wait: For the last five years or so, Axios has (somehow) sold its expensive “Smart Brevity” formula to corporations, for use in their communications with employees and other stakeholders. This ad is embedded in this very article.
Now the Axios CEO says “corporate writing and editing” will be made obsolete, a fact that his children “will instantly see” upon their first dip into AI? I wonder how that landed with VandeHei’s colleague Eleanor Hawkins, editor of the Axios Communicators newsletter. And I wonder how it will land with her readers.
Yes, Sophie, turn to AI for “stirring” marketing tips. James, your fancy and gritty ideas don’t amount to a hill of shit in this new world, boy, if you can’t turn them into “working apps”! And Kelvin, sweet Kelvin: Empathy doesn’t pay the bills, lad, and exotic solutions don’t grow on trees. Get off your fucking TikTok and get on your fucking ChatGPT. Or, as your father would say …
So, according to VandeHei: 1. VandeHei has been fooling with AI for a few weeks. 2. And the entire world is going to implode because of AI in a matter of months. 3. It’s Axios-matic that “ordinary workers without savvy AI skills will be left behind.” 4. And when they do, their laggard behavior this spring will be to blame? If only we’d heeded Jim VandeHei’s “note to his kids” in January, we wouldn’t be in the bread line in June! This scenario seems as unlikely as outrunning an avalanche, on foot.
That’s probably what I’d do if I were Sophie, James or Kelvin: conserve energy and try to signal if possible, in the comfort that my family’s wealth will probably keep me warm, if my dad’s hot air isn’t enough.
VandeHei concludes with a call to action for his kids—for all of us kids!
I shared an excerpt from this letter in Friday’s Executive Communication Report, and a reader remarked: “If there’s no substantial difference between a letter you wrote to your family and a standard LinkedIn post, you’ve got bigger problems than AI.” Yes, I’m almost more offended for his family than I am for us.
But it must also be said, Jim VandeHei, you’re not our dad. And boy, are we glad.
