Things I Hear Myself Say

When I’m on the phone with people seeking advice on speechwriting or other matters, I often clench a pipe in my mouth, because if you want to feel avuncular, you have to look avuncular. And suddenly, you hear yourself saying things like the thing I heard myself say the other day to a communication boulevardier who was asking my advice on how he might get a few speechwriting gigs to supplement his income: “Nobody wants to be somebody’s side-hustle.”