Writing Boots

On communication, professional and otherwise.

“Usephemisms”: Job Ad Edition

07.07.2021 by David Murray // Leave a Comment

A piece in The Guardian over the weekend lamented the use of jargon, in white-collar job ads. (They don’t have jargon in help-wanted ads for jackhammer operators.)

But I’m not sure this is a problem.

The jargon in job ads is mostly euphemism—or “usephemism,” as I define it in An Effort to Understand. There, I recall recoiling upon seeing an open cooler of beer at the entrance of my local grocery store with a sign inviting me to “Drink While You Shop.”

No, I will not drink while I shop! I’m a pillar of my community!

Oh, but, “A Brew While You Browse?” Don’t mind if I do!

“Usephemisms”: A spoonful of sugar makes the IPA go down.

And they are the purpose of job-ad jargon: To avoid scaring you off, while still warning you that the position will entail an assload of actual horrible corporate work.

I mean, consider the alternative:

What if, instead of asking for a “self-starter,” the HR writer said, “We’re seeking someone who we don’t need to nag all the time, Bartleby.”

Or instead of asking for a “team player,” it was, “We need someone who doesn’t take all the prime assignments or hog the spotlight, like the last gal.”

And what if, instead of “fast-paced work environment,” it said, “You’ll be busier than a one-armed wallpaper hanger.”

No one would apply.

But if you didn’t send these euphemistic signals, every job would look like a dream job. And dream jobs are called dream jobs for a reason: They don’t exist in waking life.

I think these usephemisms actually help companies not to mislead.

An editor friend once got deep into an interview with a prospective boss who went on and on about how they wanted him to focus on vision and strategy. My friend began imaging his workdays full of cigar-smoking and chin-stroking.

“This is terrific!” he said. “Because in my last job I spent all my time haggling over printing costs, crunching budgets and proofing bluelines.”

“Oh,” the would-be new boss said brightly, “you’ll have to do that, too.”

What part of “fast-paced work environment” had my friend not understood?

Categories // Uncategorized

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Now Available

An Effort to Understand

Order Now

SIGN UP TO RECEIVE BLOG UPDATES

About

David Murray writes on communication issues.
Read More

 

Categories

  • Baby Boots
  • Communication Philosophy
  • Efforts to Understand
  • Happy Men, and Other Eccentrics
  • Human Politicians
  • Mister Boring
  • Murray Cycle Diaries
  • Old Boots
  • Rambling, At Home and Abroad
  • Sports Stories
  • The Quotable Murr
  • Typewriter Truths
  • Uncategorized
  • Weird Scenes Inside the Archives

Archives

Copyright © 2025 · Log in

  • Preorder An Effort to Understand
  • Sign Up for Blog Updates
  • About David Murray