An alarming spate of carjackings in Chicago—many of them around my neighborhood—has even the regular muggers on edge. The Chicago PD put out a checklist of ways we ought to try to identify the crumb-bums what swiped our hoop-de.
I think the coppers plagiarized a list I used to keep on the bat’ room mirror, to assess the situation after a big night on Division Street:
- Forehead—note forehead height, and whether the skin is smooth, creased or wrinkled
- Eyes—note the color, shape (round, slanted), whether clear or bloodshot, and the heaviness of eyelashes and eyebrows
- Nose—overall shape (long, wide, flat, etc.) and nostrils (wide, narrow, flared) are important
- Cheeks—is the flesh sunken, filled out, dried or oily? are there wrinkles around nose or mouth? are cheek bones high or low, wide or narrow?
- Ears—note size and prominence (protruding or flat against head)
- Mouth—are lips thin, medium, full? do corners turn up, turn down, or level?
- Chin—what is the shape (round, oval, pointed, square)? double chin, dimpled, cleft?
- Neck—note protruding Adam’s apple or hanging jowls
- Complexion—note pores, pockmarks, acne, razor rash, bumps
- Facial hair—clean shaven? unshaven? beard, mustache, goatee, sideburns?
- Tattoos—shape and style; on what part of the body