Yes, it's terrible to be terrible. But civility isn't really a virtue, either.
Civility is a cold civil war.
Civility is a hiss.
Civility is a cowardly mutter, "I'm better than you."
Civility is the new "tolerance."
Civility is, I think you're an idiot but I'm not going to tell you.
Civility is, I think you're an idiot but I'm not going to tell you, but I will shake my head behind your back.
And I will tell the next person I see who knows you.
And I will probably tell you when you finally go too far, and (I've decided) enough is enough.
Civility is, "Fuck you, you ass—it's you and people like you who are ruining this country! Excuse me, I meant to say, 'Pass the salt.'"
Civility is staying together for the kids (who are dying from the tension in the house).
Civility is I hate you, and I'll never understand you.
Communication, on the other hand, is: I might be wrong. I might be blind in one eye or deaf in one ear. There's something I might not be seeing. I just saw something in you that I admire. We are all brothers and sisters—even the guy I saw on the street the other day wearing a cowboy hat and those stupid fucking running shoes with the toes.
My dad, in his late seventies and twice divorced, had a girlfriend of whom he was fond but with whom he fought a lot. Many nights I heard him say quietly as he slipped into his bedroom and she into hers, "Let's try 'er again tomorrow, Betty."
Communication is, let's try 'er again tomorrow.