Our mothers used to tell us to "stop instigating" our siblings. We thought that was unfair, because it gave us too much credit; our siblings were born instigated, we felt.
Still—the point was, don't make a bad situation worse.
Similarly, liberals didn't make conservatives hate us. And maybe some conservatives will always hate us. But they sure won't stop hating as long as we keep:
1. Commencing sentences with, "If I'm being honest …"
2. Beginning answers to questions with, "So …"
3. Inserting pusillanimous parenthetical "sort of"s three times in every sentence.
4. Sprinkling rhetorically presumptuous "right?"s into the middle of arguments, right?
5. Showing up at third-shift bars and telling the bartender you're going to "do a Miller High Life."
Be honest all the time. Say what you mean—candidly, concisely, plainly and clearly. Let the other person decide whether you're "right." And don't let me catch you doing a beer.
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