Writing Boots

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One more an’ I gotta go: seven rational reasons I’m always up too goddamn late*

05.17.2018 by David Murray // Leave a Comment

I have a couple sets of dear friends in town this week. I also have a lot of work to do this week, so I don't want to stay up too late every night. And yet I know that I will. Here are the rational reasons why I and other rational people I know, wind up staying up far later than we should:

  1. We drink a lot. And what's more, we are able to drink a lot, for many consecutive hours while still holding productive conversations. They say wasting your gifts is a crime against God.
  2. Am I going to stay up super late and be real hung over tomorrow? That would be a tough decision. Luckily, we never actually have to make it. Our choice is only, "Should we have one more?" That's an easy decision. (And as James McMurtry sang, "I don't want another drink, I only want that last one again.")
  3. When you are happily drinking, it is simply impossible to imagine being hung over. Especially when you are on your back porch.
  4. This is the most interesting conversation we've had in a month. Let's go to bed, and pick it up tomorrow?
  5. This is the happiest we've been since last summer. Yeah, we think we'll turn in?
  6. You have to stop laughing to start sleeping.
  7. What part of "dear friends" didn't you understand?

You see, when you look at it rationally, the question isn't why do I stay up too late with my pals—it's how I ever go to bed at all.

* Bottle-tip to Warren Nelson.

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