Ad: "The Senior Director will need to have a passion for purpose and the ability to infuse great color and rigor into our Team Member communication processes and channels."
Translation: "Our employee communication stuff is just as bland and flaccid as you imagine. Unlike the previous half-dozen wretches, you'll turn it into Rolling Stone."
Ad: “The ideal candidate will be able to take institutional environmental themes and issues and translate them into the powerful voice of an organization.”
Translation: "The last writer failed to make institutional environmental themes and issues titillating."
Ad: “Promote leadership for major marquee platforms where appropriate; discern which forums provide highest ROI; and decline others while maintaining relationships with forum organizers.”
Translation: "You tell the head of the Chamber of Commerce we're not doing the annual fundraiser this year."
Ad: "We need someone who can engage and coach our leaders, our Partners, and our customers, while also being able to knuckle-down and deliver quality assets under tight deadlines.”
Translation: "You'll need the gravitas to control senior executives and the humility to shine their shoes."