Listening to NPR last night, I heard the results of a study that found 51 percent of Americans think Apple should help the government crack open the terrorist's iPhone, 38 percent of Americans think Apple is right to resist, and 11 percent said they don't know.
Online and in the Sunday New York Times, I've tried to read a half dozen articles on this issue. I've seen convincing arguments on both sides, and I'll be damned if I have come to a conclusion, and I've pretty much given up trying. Internet security isn't my meat, and like most other problems in this crazy-go-kooky world, I must leave it to others, lest I waste time better spent on issues I do know and care something about.
So how did all these other Americans come to such stern opinions on the matter? They reached into their asses and they pulled them out, that's how.
If Americans weren't such utter gasbags, these would be the findings of this study: Seven percent of Americans said Apple should help the government crack the iPhone, 4 percent said Apple's in the right—and 89 percent said the hell if they know and please don't call here again.
God, what a wonderful country that would be.
Don’t be so hard on your fellow Americans, David, because I don’t think it’s just your folk. I was just thinking last night, here in the vast Canadian wilderness as I paddled my canoe past some moose playing hockey outside an igloo and then paused to check Facebook while apologizing to a beaver, how fortunate we all are to live in a time when it seems pretty much everyone has all the answers to all the problems of the world. And it even turns out most of those problems aren’t nearly as complicated as we used to think and there’s a pretty simple solution to every one of them. And you don’t even has to ask people how to solve problems anymore – we’re all just giving our deeply informed wisdom and insight away for free.
It is a wonderful world, David. And if you can’t appreciate that then it’s probably because you were vaccinated as a child and have eaten too much GMO food. Also, in the spirit of transparency, I’d parent your child completely differently. But, while I’m not here to judge, your shortcomings as a parent are probably because you may not be a Christian (or so I heard on Twitter). In which case we’ll just build a wall around you and everything will be fine.
A mini-masterpiece, Rueben. I can only thank you for contributing it.
A mini-masterpiece, Rueben. I can only thank you for contributing it.
A mini-masterpiece, Rueben. I can only thank you for contributing it.