A corporate executive friend tells me the HR director at his company seems to think that every problem, disagreement or source of discomfort in the company ultimately boils down to entitled, self-loving "millennials."
Now, this said …
… millennials are better described, and more constructively thought of, as YPWoMs. That's, Young People Without Mortgages.
YPWoMs are now, always have been, and always will be, a giant pain in every corporation's ass. Why? Because they possess two obnoxious attributes simultaneously.
1. They are young.
2. And they don't have mortgages.
Because they are young, they are having, like, sort of a hard time adjusting, from 22 formative years where their imaginations were encouraged, where they were told that feelings mattered, that God mattered, that human beings mattered, that morality mattered, that truth mattered, that beauty mattered, that ideas mattered and that they mattered … to the corporate world, where none of that shit seems to matter.
And because they don't have mortgages, they have less compunction about crying out in their sharp pain—to their bosses, to their bosses' bosses, and even straight to the CEO, if he or she is daring enough to have a Twitter handle. And certainly they don't hesitate to bellyache to the gray-faced, balding HR director, who they equate roughly with their schlub-ass high school guidance counselor.
Here's to the Young People Without Mortgages—of this age, and of every age—who harass flabby HR dicks with their moralistic, simplistic, unrealistic insistence that the workplace should cohere with everything their parents, their teachers and their preachers and their guidance counselors taught them, knowing full well what kind of world they were heading into.
And here's to the HR dicks, who make themselves such satisfying heavy bags to hit.