Anderson Cooper's producers plan AC360 carefully, and we can't throw out all their good work every time there's a shooting, can we?
And since there's a shooting just about every day in America now, let's create a separate channel for it. Of course we'll hold the show up to the current high TV journalism standards, which involve interviewing every clodhopper wandering around the parking lot.
The way these shootings are increasing, we may need more than one Shooting Channel. "We've just received word that a gunman has attacked an Amish barn raising, so we've got to get on that. Keep up on this mall suicide story over on Shooting Channel 2."
Eventually, maybe we can have separate Shooting Channels depending on audience interest. If you like airport shootings, you tune into the Airport Shooting Channel. But there's also the School Shooting Channel, the Church Shooting Channel, the Military Base Shooting Channel, the Abortion Clinic Shooting Channel, the Mall Shooting Channel and the Workplace Shooting Channel, and what am I forgetting?
It'll be hard to keep up!
Or, you can just keep it on CNN, where Piers Morgan will be free to rail in his wussy British voice about all these shootings and shouldn't we maybe do something about it?
Me, I'd rather watch the Shooting Channel.
But maybe I'm strange.
I’m with ya! After all, it’s a reflection of the Great American Pastime!
Oh wait! That’s baseball, isn’t it? Then again ….
On Monday night I was switching back and forth from the Bears game to the New Jersey mall shooting … just like I was doing two Mondays ago, during the World Series.