"If I'd a shot 'im when I met 'im I'd be out of jail by now." —a country singer I once heard on A Prairie Home Companion
"It's hard to kiss the lips at night that chew your ass our all day long." —Vince Gill and Rodney Crowell
On communication, professional and otherwise.
I don’t know whether it’s the best, but it always amuses me: “Is it still over, are we still through? Since my phone still ain’t ringing, I assume it still ain’t you”
Love that, Joan. Some other nominees, from Facebook friends:
Sky Damon suggests, “Because my drinkin’ problem left today. She packed up all her things and walked away.”
Tim Hicks posits, “How can I miss you when you won’t go away?” And adds, “Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life.”
And Greg Neise contributes, “Flushed From the Bathroom of Your Life.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=C7fzv5bchmo
From my own song, “I Ain’t Country Enough:”
I can never find a cowboy hat that fits on my head;
I ain’t ever made a sheep nervous, and I’m sure Elvis is dead;
It don’t turn me on to see my sister in the buff;
Aw, shucks, I ain’t country enough!
Marsh, I’d pay to hear you sing that, if I hadn’t already done so!