“Hope summer’s treating you well”

So say the polite e-mail correspondents these days, hoping to ease into their proposal or request. (Believe it or not, I receive as many proposals and requests as I make.)

I've taken to replying,

Summer's been great. Too great. Am getting fat. Who gets fat in the summer? I mean, Drink much? I'm going to have to start smoking again to lose this belly! Speaking of smoking, all the Taco Bell binges from the reefer munchies probably aren't helping either. CHRIST ALMIGHTY, if I wasn't having as much sex as I am, I'd probably be dead by now! How's your summer?

Then I leave it at that and judge what they're made of by how and whether they respond.