Writing Boots

On communication, professional and otherwise.

Elements of the Style

04.14.2010 by David Murray // 13 Comments

So I'm writing this series for the Chicago Tribune and working with a new editor who I like a lot. However, in the first installment I felt a few of my more artful phrases were lost or damaged, and so I gently asked whether, for the next installment, I could be more involved in the "fine-sanding," as I put it.

Just as gently, he defended the first edit, saying, "And while we didn't lose many hard facts in the edit, I do feel we sped up the language—and the reading—by losing so many extraneous appearances of 'the,' for example."

W_F?!

Writing Boots readers, do I use 'the' too much? How could you have let me go all this time without saying something? You call yourselves my friends ….

(Yes, I plan to ask the editor which "the's" he cut out, and what, on earth, he replaced them with. Every day's the school day.)

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Comments

  1. Denise Graveline says

    April 14, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Sounds like a discussion of the the-ness of the the, and the the’s place in the language, is in order. Tell him to try to edit THAT sentence.

    Reply
  2. David Murray says

    April 14, 2010 at 8:36 am

    Denise, that sentence is bomb!

    Reply
  3. Kristen says

    April 14, 2010 at 9:44 am

    I’m confused. If you haven’t SEEN the edited version, how do you know your “more artful words and phrases were lost or damaged”??
    I don’t recall ever thinking there were “extraneous” examples of “the” in your posts, and, as you know, I’m always first in line to have, now what did my mother call it? Oh, yes – “animated debate” about what you write. So I feel on pretty solid ground in saying, while you have your quirks, an over-dependance on “the” ain’t one of ’em.
    So THERE, editor person!!! 😛

    Reply
  4. David Murray says

    April 14, 2010 at 10:12 am

    I have seen the final version … just can’t find the missing “the’s.”
    So I’m pretty the confused too.

    Reply
  5. Michael Whitaker says

    April 14, 2010 at 11:44 am

    So…never mind the “the” – is it OK now to start a post with “So”?
    http://writingboots.typepad.com/writing_boots/2010/03/q-howve-you-been-a-so-ive-been-a-little-under-the-weather-.html
    Nice jab 😉

    Reply
  6. David Murray says

    April 14, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    As I’ve explained repeatedly, it’s FINE and time-honored to start a story with “so.” It’s NOT fine to answer a question beginning with the word “so.” If you’re going to answer a question with a yarn, say: “That’s a good question. Here’s the story …..”
    Not, “So, I the first time I had athlete’s foot was back in junior high.”
    That’s presumptuous.

    Reply
  7. Robert J Holland, ABC says

    April 14, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    Maybe if you wouldn’t refer to yourself as THE David Murray all the time. Now, that’s presumptuous!

    Reply
  8. David Murray says

    April 14, 2010 at 12:12 pm

    “The Murr”?

    Reply
  9. Eileen says

    April 14, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    I’m secretly smiling and snickering since an unnamed editor made some pretty harsh comments to me about 6 years ago regarding my double spacing between periods. Karma kicks hard sometimes, doesn’t she?

    Reply
  10. David Murray says

    April 14, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    Karma is a bitch. And (technically) that would be double-spacing AFTER periods.
    Pax vobiscum.

    Reply
  11. Tom Braxton says

    April 14, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Tribune is now hot, spicy. Fewer words, good thing. Reward writers speaking in fragments. Extra words, not good.
    Articles like “the” not needed in Russian, no need at Tribune. Tribune wants verbs. Fast read. Sam Morse would be proud.
    —-
    Geez…E. B. White said eliminate unnecessary words, not words that serve as cushions between phrases. Is the Tribune’s cost of newsprint really so crushing that they need to eliminate all but Tarzan-speak to save space?
    Keep the faith, David.

    Reply
  12. Eileen says

    April 14, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    “And (technically) that would be double-spacing AFTER periods.”
    I’m not a big fan of you right now. Not at all.

    Reply
  13. Paul Engleman says

    April 15, 2010 at 7:42 am

    Duh. Fine sanding? Don’t you mean “tweaking?”
    It’s the newspaper, David. It used to be they’d wrap the fish in it the next day. Now it’s just for picking up the dogshit. If you can find a the copy.

    Reply

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