Writing Boots

On communication, professional and otherwise.

My latest on HuffPo: The schoolteacher’s husband

09.22.2009 by David Murray // 13 Comments

The story of how my wife and I nearly divorced over her teaching job at a Chicago public school.

Categories // Uncategorized Tags // Alex Kotlowitz, Arne Duncan, Charter Schools, Chicago News, Chicago Public Schools, education, Education Reform, Henry Horner Homes, Inner City, Lake Street El, Oak Park, poverty, public schools, Teacher, There Are No Children Here

Comments

  1. Glynn says

    September 22, 2009 at 5:02 pm

    Great story, David. In the short year I worked in St. Louis Public Schools, I saw the same thing over and over again — missing fathers, missing parents, nasty unions worried only about jobs and power, uneducated and miseducated children, administrators who wouldn’t go into some schools because “it wasn’t safe” but had no problem sending children to the same places — and a few heroes called teachers who somehow managed to hang on and make a difference in the lives of children.

    Reply
  2. amy says

    September 23, 2009 at 12:45 am

    “Kirsten” is a saint. I would never be able to accomplish what she has. I don’t know if you or she were able to keep in touch with some of “her” kids, but it would be interesting to find out where they are today. I would hope there could be some success stories…

    Reply
  3. David Murray says

    September 23, 2009 at 6:46 am

    Thanks, Glynn.
    Amy, this piece is a bit simplified–there were actually four kids who “Kirsten” took under her wing–these two boys and two girls.
    As I say here, one of the boys is in the Navy and married.
    The two girls, who were best friends in seventh grade when Kirsten met them, are doing well. They’re about 22, one with a kid and solid relationship and steady life … and the other (the one whose father stole the VCR and the microwave for drugs) is a nurse, making more money than anybody in her first year in her family has ever dreamed of.
    (Last night one of the girls texted my wife to remind her it was the other girl’s birthday. She texted the other girl happy birthday and the girl teased back, “Did you have some help with that?”)
    That’s what’s kind of heartbreaking about this. Based on our little longitudinal study, it just takes A LITTLE BIT OF CONSISTENT INTEREST AND ENCOURAGEMENT from one stable adult to make a fundamental difference.

    Reply
  4. Kristen says

    September 23, 2009 at 8:05 am

    Thank goodness “Kirsten” was able to stay in touch with her kids and find out what a revolutionary impact she had on their lives. So many teachers never know the importance they had on many of their students’ lives.
    It has always amazed me that the people in power love to spout off “Children are our future” and yet they won’t spend more than a buck-fifty on the resources required to help them learn and grow.
    Most teachers are miraculous, committed, determined people that we should all be thankful for because they do the hard things [selflessly and with very little recognition] that most of us wouldn’t and couldn’t dream of, for all our talk of the importance of our children to our future.
    Thanks “Kirstin”!!!

    Reply
  5. roula says

    September 23, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Your wife certainly walks the walk, and talks the talk. To admire her is an understatement.
    Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  6. EileenB says

    September 23, 2009 at 10:58 am

    Great writing, and wonderful storytelling. From one failed teacher (I only lasted two years as a h.s. English teacher) I can admit that it broke my heart to be involved with the lives of those students, and I couldn’t do it anymore. So I can relate to Kristi.

    Reply
  7. David Murray says

    September 23, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Knock it off, people.
    She’s going to start making me do the laundry.

    Reply
  8. Kristen says

    September 23, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    WHAAAAT???!!! You work from home and you aren’t ALREADY doing the laundry?!?!
    Jeez, David, for pity’s sake!!!!

    Reply
  9. David Murray says

    September 23, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    If you had a washer and dryer at your office cubicle, would you get a lot of laundry done? Would your boss be pleased to see you folding clothes during the day? When I work, I WORK.

    Reply
  10. Kristen says

    September 23, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    [Insert eye-roll here] Clearly, you are not a woman. The women reading this all already know this, but for your edification, when WOMEN “work from home,” in addition to doing a FULL DAY’S “work” work, they typically also do 3 loads of laundry, make breakfast, lunch and snacks, and clean up the throw-up for whatever sick, cranky child they are at home looking after, deal with the repair person whom she arranged at the last minute to come that day because she would be working at home, she makes dinner for the entire family, and, if she’s really, REALLY lucky, finds time to go to the bathroom – once!
    Working Moms – did I get that about right???

    Reply
  11. EileenB says

    September 23, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    You forgot the part about cleaning up the cat poo from the litter box, but otherwise it looks about right. Which is why I have to go the office to get things done.

    Reply
  12. David Murray says

    September 23, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    I agree that it’s possible to do more household stuff during the day than I do, but no, I think if you look at the volume of work I churn out (and thinking it requires, etc.), I don’t think you’ll conclude that on a regular basis I could be Mr. Mom simultaneously … and I challenge any dame to say she can!

    Reply
  13. amy of the wolm says

    September 23, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    K – you got it mostly right. Not sure we get a bio break as often as once a day, but other than that, completely correct. The parent’s plight — ugh. – A

    Reply

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