This is the most important email I have ever sent you.
I’m fuming.
This might be the most critical email I’ve ever sent you.
I have never come to you with a more important ask.
I’m appalled.
My heart is racing.
I’m in complete disbelief.
I’m stunned.
I can’t believe what I just read.
I am shocked and appalled.
This might be the most critical email I’ve ever sent you.
I have never come to you with a more important ask.
Seems the copywriters over there have one of three problems:
- They need to read the old Aesop’s fable about The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
- They did read the fable, but assume we don’t actually read all the emails.
- They think we read the emails, but assume we don’t remember them and so, like dogs, receive each one of them anew.
I guess I have to assume they know what works for short-term fundraising. I’m far less confident they know what works for long-term partly leadership.
Let’s not forget the possibility of #4…
4. They are so environmentally conscious that they are recycling the “best-of” opening lines from old direct-mail/dead-tree mail fundraising letters from the 1980s.
These are actually quite thoughtful and well-crafted compared with the ones I get every day from Donald Trump Jr and his dad. They are horrified about the terrible turn the country has taken since the old pussy-grabber had the election stolen from him. The messages vary from being really disappointed in me for not sending them money and really worried that something bad must have happened to me because I haven’t sent them any money and really grateful that I have always been a supporter they can count on.
It reads like poetry. Abstract, sure, but poetry. The context is even more poetic.
Politicians don’t think they have to justify their existence and we don’t exactly hold them accountable to that. Fundraising emails, to me, are something only people who don’t think about themselves enough could send out.