Cody Marley is a Nashville-based comic and comedy writer who I’m connected with through the speechwriter Mike Long, one of the funniest nuts in my life. Mike and Cody did stand-up together in Nashville in the early 1980s.
This is Cody.
Well, old Cody posted the following on Facebook last Thursday evening, and I thought I’d pass it along, as a piece of journalism:
I had a good day. I got up, had some orange juice and walked to the coffee shop. I had some coffee and a blueberry muffin. The coffee was free because I had nine coffee stamps on my coffee stamp card. Fully masked, I went to some pawn shops and thrift stores. I didn’t buy anything, ate in a White Castle parking lot and filled my car up at Kroger. I drove through an old neighborhood I used to live in and thought about a time I drove back drunk. Today I also ate a banana, spaghetti, crackers, a peanut butter & jelly sandwich and a slice of bread. When I got back home I walked through the park and listened to ELO, Ryan Adams, Nat King Cole, Radney Foster and The Beatles and finished my walk at Starbucks where I sat outside, drank coffee and listened to more music. I noticed my head phones had a lot of earwax in/on ’em. I thought about how much money you’d have to pay someone to lick it off. I think it would depend on where they’re at in life. One person might do it for $50 and another $50,000. Me? $6800. Walking back home I thought about a dream I had last night. I was going to meet Danny Tartabull about doing some very lucrative work. I don’t remember what. But, at our first meeting, I was late, apologized, I could tell he was a little ticked but we got along well. We decided to have dinner the next night at some fancy steak house and talk about our deal. I went and, again, was a little late. We met at the bar and Danny, wearing a white cowboy hat, asked if this, me not being on time, was going to be a problem. I said, “No.” They called for our table and he went to bathroom and I told him I’d meet him in the dining area. As I was walking there, I saw Kathy Griffin, who I don’t think I’ve ever met, and she said, “Hey, Cody.” and I said, “Hey, Kathy.” and we got along swimmingly. She was an absolute delight and the time, well, it got away from me. Anyway, after telling Kathy goodbye, late, again, I went to the table and noticed Danny walking out of the restaurant. I was absolutely floored. It killed me. I was low. I mean like I just watched my daughter blow up in the Space Shuttle Challenger because I asked her to get me a control knob souvenir off the main console depressed. It woke me up. My body felt heavy. It took me several minutes to convince myself this didn’t happen. It didn’t. I feel good, now. Oh, Danny Tartabull. Of course, I know who he is but when I woke up I couldn’t remember what he looked like. I mean, I remember what he looked like in the dream but, fully awake, not in real life. I Googled him. Boom! He looked just like he did in the dream.