CNN anchors: A question beginning, "How unprecedented is it …" is not a question.
Leavers of voice-mail messages: "I have a question, can you call me?" is a bullshit voice mail message.
Submitters of articles to magazine editors: "Here you go. There might be a couple typos / capitalization issues in here to clean up before publishing anywhere," is not a good cover note.
Conference goers asked to give suggestions to make next year's event better: “Replace chips and energy bars with fresh fruit and crudite.” What the fuck is crudite?
And finally, birthday boys and girls: You can't make me donate my birthday gift to you to a charity if I was never going to give you a birthday gift in the first place.