Writing Boots has obtained this list of special dietary requirements actually sent, with apologies—"I hate being high maintenance!"—by a business conference participant to the conference organizer.
No:
Products containing milk
Products containing tomatoes
Onions
Raw veggies, except:
Peeled cucumbers
Peppers
Cauliflower
Avocado
Nothing deep fried
Nothing real fatty
No pork or shellfishIf well-cooked, can handle the following cooked veggies:
green beans
carrots
broccoli
beets
If very soft, asparagus
Cauliflower
Mushrooms
Canned artichoke hearts
Fruits: Can't eat oranges/grapefruit but most others are fine fresh or cooked.
Tangerines are fine!
Eggs, chicken, fish, meat — fine except very fatty meats.
Most starches are fine if made without milk products, tomato, onions.
I don’t see potting soil anywhere on the “no” list.
And of course she turned out to be the most accommodating generous participant at the conference.
… argh, bring your own food!
As the husband of someone with multiple food sensitivities, I see a lot of stuff in this list that my wife would say if she dared. Usually she asks for gluten-free and no creamy sauces and then picks at whatever is left.
This person isn’t trying to be high-maintenance, she really isn’t. This is why she acknowledges in her correspondence that this is how she might be perceived. She just wants to not be hungry and cranky all day. Those us who can eat pretty much whatever we want have no idea how easy we have it.
I’m glad she did add value to the conference, and that you recognized in your comments that she did.
I do get it, Gerry. I have relatives in the same boat. I just thought this list was a little over the top. “Canned artichoke hearts?” “If very soft, asparagus?” I suppose caterers are used to some of these requests, and as we humans seem to engineer our food and ourselves out of plausible existence, I suppose such lists will become more and more common.
Soon we’ll be like pandas, eating only bamboo and wondering why we’re endangered.
I would hope that, if my dietary requirements were that specific and important to me, I would be gracious enough to bring my own food rather than to inflict on my host such a list. The apology seems superfluous, a mask for the demand for attention and sympathy.
Yes, I see that side of it too, Joan. I can’t imagine presenting such a list of needs. But I guess we can’t know for sure until we ought to eat a while in her lactose-intolerant shoes.
David, you make a good point that the list does seem a bit over the top. I can’t imagine my wife asking for something quite that specific. If she knew the host well, she might ask for her vegetables “very well done.”
Shaken, not stirred. 😉