A soccer dad asks why I hold my 12-year-old girl out of header practice, where her teammates head dozens of balls, ostensibly in order to head more safely the two or three they'll actually have in games.
I tell him I don't want to get into the unsettled science of concussions, which is laypersons' liar's poker. I just tell him I figure the bare minimum requirement of being a parent is protecting your kid's head.
There is a pause. I fill it, by adding:
My outsize psychological influence will inevitably have mixed emotional results, because I'm full of mixed emotions myself. Neither am I going to offer her a perfect diet intellectually; she'll inevitably know more than she needs to about the aesthetics of automobiles, and less than she needs to about how they work. (She will either curse me for this, or tell funny stories like the ones I tell about my dad, and how his whole set of tools fit into an old can of Pringles potato chips.)
I can't even protect her physically. She plays sports, and she plays them aggressively, and I've always encouraged that.
But there are limits. No, there is one limit. The head.
If she blows out a knee—even loses a leg!—I know her head can take her the rest of the way in life.
Whereas, if she gets brain damage on my watch I can't very well counter, "But she's strong as an ox!"
My dad used to say his motto was, "Take care of the babies."
I try to be more realistic. I say, "Take care of their heads."
The final whistle blows, and the soccer dad seems relieved.
Carla Johnson says
I am 100% on board with you, Dave. Our 11-year old daughter suffered a concussion in January from a fall snowboarding – fully protected by a helmet, barely moving on an almost flat cat track, but she fell and hit it hard enough that it will take almost 9 months to heal completely. As parents, we’ve always been overly careful about protecting our kids’ noggins. I can’t imagine practicing taking hits to prepare for what may or may not happen. There’s nothing to fall back on in life without it.
David Murray says
Yep. And no, there’s no way to COMPLETELY prevent concussions, but human tetherball just doesn’t seem like a great idea!
David Murray says
(And really sorry to hear about your kiddo, Carla. Hope her recovery goes faster than plan.)