You've heard of "bitchy resting face," right? And "resting asshole face"? Where people are thought to be mean or cold, just because they seem to be pouting even when they're not?
Just as I didn't know corporations were people, I didn't know institutions could have resting asshole face, until this email came back in response to a promo I sent out last week:
Thank you for your interest in working with Brandeis International Business School. Given the volume of inquires I receive, I am unable to respond individually but this email will confirm receipt of your email and/or voicemail. I am simply not able to handle the number of cold calls coming in and so I ask you follow this process outlined below, should you feel, after reviewing our web site, that it makes sense to do business with us. Many ask ‘I just need 15 minutes’ and I respectfully ask you spend that time on our web site and describe how you see a tight fit worthy of exploration.
In order to assist me in assessing possible partnership opportunities, I am requesting you to please visit https://brandeis.wufoo.com/forms/brandeis-ibs-marketing-and-communications/…
My commitment is to review every submission received, although I am unable to provide a timeframe for doing so.
If you have read this far, after completion of the form and my review, I will confirm receipt and I will send you a LinkedIn invite so that we might stay in touch if our present fiscal year constraints do not enable us to enter into discussions at this time. If we are already LinkedIn, no action is necessary.
Having been in your shoes, I know that no response at all can be frustrating—and this is my way of trying to provide you with the courtesy of a response and an avenue to perhaps work together in the longer term. Further emails and calls are not a good use of your time—if a potential match exists, we will contact you. I appreciate your understanding.
Executive Director of Marketing and Communications
Brandeis International Business School & Hassenfeld Family Innovation Center
And this is the marketing guy? I'd hate to meet the HR director.