"School's basically over," Scout told me this yesterday. School is winding down for all the Murrays, as we prepare for a summer road trip. If this were an NBA game, we'd call it "garbage time."
The hell with it today. Let's just tell some jokes. The shorter the better.
Here's mine, delivered by Scout a few years ago. It's not quite as short as, "A dyslexic walked into a bra," but it's a little funnier.
What do you got?
My favorite joke of all time is:
Joke teller: How do you sell a deaf guy a duck?
Joke hearer: How?
Joke teller: (Scream at the top of your lungs) Want to buy a duck?
This joke works very well in awkward locations such as libraries, movie theaters, empty bars … etc.
OK, Chuck, I can’t WAIT to try that out.
On my wife.
At lunch.
Today.
Another shortie that I like:
An Irishman walked past a bar.
It COULD happen!
Exciting. Wives appreciate this joke the most.
You know what joke wives, and all women enjoy more than you’d think?
Q. Which three Chicago streets rhyme with “vagina”?
A. Paulina, Melvina and Lunt.
Try it on your woman, today!
I tell people, “I have a new knock-knock joke. You start.”
Works every single time.
OR:
How does a New Yorker change a light bulb?
He just holds the light in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.
FOLLOWED BY:
How many Torontonians does it take a change a light bulb?
Just one, but first he has to go down to New York to see how they do it there.
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.