11:10 I liked the organized speakers the best. And, that's a wrap. Goodnight.
10:40 Imitation Game writer did all of the below, and even shared of himself. Open with "I tried to kill myself"—or anything rude and true, and people will listen to whatever you say next. It's the speech of the Oscars so far.
10:10 That's how it's done, Patricia, et al! Message, messenger, occasion, united—and the audience knows why it's hearing this truth, from you, tonight! #CommonandJohnLegend
9:53 Laura Poitras, your Star Wars costume speaks so loud I can't hear your speech (which might have been important).
9:50 I wish we humans had as much empathy for poor strangers in real trouble as we do for rich celebrities seemingly having trouble with the Teleprompter. #heartpoundingonmycouch
9:31 Best speech so far: Marty Scorcese, in the background to that Apple commercial. Oh, he forgot to thank his mother.
9:08 One tries not to take one's wife for granted, but one does see her day in and day out, year in and year out. And when one, despite that, manages to find her "amazing," that is … well … amazing. Isn't there a more accurate and still loving thing to say?
9:00 Patricia Arquette, well, OK, but if you hadn't spent all that time reading out of the fucking phone book, you might had a chance to connect your message about equal pay for women with the award you just won, with the movie you won it for, with the occasion, with the moment … with something other than you are a woman. It's amazing how little these actors understand about how communication works.
8:50 Is it just me, or is this just the flattest Oscars ceremony ever? No one—not even the winners—seems to be in the mood. Guess I picked the wrong year to live blog without sniffing glue.
8:31 I question the principle of thanking the Academy. Presumably, the Academy didn't make you a winner as a favor, but rather because "it" thought you had the best movie. Just leave it at that, or you'll leave us with the impression that you're superstitious that if you forget to thank the Academy, this Oscar will be your last. For instance, the winner of the Cicero Speechwriting Awards doesn't publicly thank the judges, and if he or she did, I'd be a little uncomfortable with it—as would the runners-up, I'd think. (By the way, 2015 Cicero entries are due tomorrow, you laggards!)
8:14 Judging by that speech, that Polish movie must be 14 hours long. Tedious in the beginning, but more honest and amusing as it goes along.
D.R. Murray sez: I won't comment on the pure lists-of-people-I-want-to-thank speeches, except to say that I couldn't do this live blog without Ron Shewchuk, Paul Engleman, Allan Jenkins, Lisa Kenner, Jennifer Wah and also my wonderful wife Cristie and brilliant daughter Scout. And my dead parents, wherever you are. Thank you.
H.L. Mencken sez: "But why are actors, in general, such blatant and obnoxious asses, such arrant posturers and wind-bags? Why is it as surprising to find an unassuming and likable fellow among them as to find a Greek without fleas? The answer is quite simple. To reach it one needs but consider the type of young man who normally gets stage-struck. Is he, taking averages, the intelligent, alert, ingenious, ambitious young fellow? Is he the young fellow with ideas in him, and a yearning for hard and difficult work? Is he the diligent reader, the hard student, the eager inquirer? No. He is, in the overwhelming main, the neighborhood fop and beau, the human clothes-horse, the nimble squire of dames. … He seeks, not a chance to test his mettle by hard and useful work, but an easy chance to shine. He is, in brief, a hollow and incompetent creature, a strutter and poseur, a popinjay, a pretty one…."
J.K. Simmons sez: Love your wife, admire your kids, listen to your parents. And this is the substantive character actor!
I won't snark off about fashion and I won't comment on the substance of the Oscars. Here at Writing Boots tonight (written by the wine-drinking, off-duty editor of Vital Speeches of the Day) … it's all about the speeches. Check back when they commence!