Watch this space tonight for live Election Night blogging …

1:00

Clearly Barack didn't start with big screwdrivers at 5:30 today. Good speech. Good night.

12:55

American responsibilities: love and charity and duty and patriotism.

12:38

There are two roles a president plays: Policy maker, and National Role Model Who Isn't Snookie. We've argued about his work in the former role. But can we argue about the dignity of this guy in the latter role?

12:19

Dana Bash or somebody sez Obama has been working on the speech for a few days with chief speechwriter Favreau. Sez it's gonna be about hope. Well what else would it be about? Napoleon said a leader is a dealer in hope. And Napoleon knew he was kicking it old-school with that jive.

12:17

At this hour, can't Barack just send a tweet?

12:03

MSNBC goons falling all over themselves to praise Romney's cookie-cutter concession speech. Pretty easy way to appear gracious.

12:00

Surrogates, and "you guys."

11:58

He thanked "the surrogates"?

11:49

Was about to lie down. MSNBC sez Romney's going on in seven minutes. Thanks, MSNBC!

11:11

Burping up Pabst and a hunk of Scout's Halloween haul of Reeses, a sack of Peanut M&M's, a Mr. Goodbar and the first Milky Way bar I've eaten since 1979. Romney, speak!

10:59

Tomorrow I have to pick the best speech of the week. I'm open to it being Romney's concession. But he does have to deliver it.

10:34

Get thee to FOX. Rove has gone rogue.

10:27

Rove isn't conceding Ohio, or the election! More beer for me!

10:20

FOX News calls it for President Obama. I don't know whether to shit or wind my wristwatch.

10:08

Mitt Romney. I don't hate him. I just never want to see his face again.

10:04

The sister-in-law writes independently. She agrees with the sister. Jesus!

10:01

The sister objects to "the wife." Okay, okay.

9:48

Todd Akin telling people what we believe, in his concession speech. The wife mutters at the TV: "Yeah, we don't care what you believe, it turns out."

9:47

It's a slow landslide. It's a mudslide.

9:35

Sez my favorite Chicago columnist, Neil Steinberg:

"No, I'm not tempted to gloat. In fact, I feel a pang of sympathy, and think of Capt. Jack Philip, on the USS Texas in the Battle of Santiago during the Spanish-American War, when his sailors hurrahed as a burning Spanish ship went down. 'Don't cheer boys,' he said. 'Those fellows are dying.' So let us take off our caps, and bow our heads as the corporate tools and screwed up religious fanatics and leering homophobes of the Republican Party burn to the water line."

I know Neil is forgetting some people, and I'm sure he knows it too.

Who?

9:23

Calling Lee Hornick! Where are you, Lee Hornick?

9:03

Elizabeth Warren. Another thoughtful American with a sense of humor elected to office. Golly. Another few hundred, and we'll be in the majority.

7:49

I've been on trans-oceanic sailing trips where the object of conversation is to make a short story long. That's sweet. This is ridiculous.

7:25

The wife is threatening to change the channel and "watch something else." Like Little House on the Fucking Prairie? I scream. Maybe! she says.

7:05

This just in. Al Sharpton's head is too big to call.

6:57

I'm not comprehending a word anyone is saying.

5:42

Scout, upon learning I'm live-blogging tonight: "Are you going to say funny stuff about Romney?"

5:01

Rereading last election's live blog is painful, containing as it does a description of a dream in which "I kissed
Obama on the head and we wept together in humility and hope." What drugs was I on at the time? And are there any left?

Before I start pouring cocktails and order the traditional Election Night Thai food, here's where I sit and stand: I think President Obama is by far the best president I've ever lived through. I like him best, anyway. Which isn't saying much, really. Reagan was a hologram to me, Bush 41 was a nonentity, Clinton was a mystery, Bush 43 was kind of a nightmare.

Obama? I like this guy, and have spent four years willingly defending him from friends to my left and my right. It's unfamiliar to a guy like me, defending the status quo. And the president, whoever he is, is the status quo.

Romney? A combination hologram, nonentity, mystery nightmare.

So I know which team I'm rooting for tonight.

Let's hope it's interesting. But not too interesting.

Vodka!

***

 

… strictly about communication, perfectly nonpartisan, judge-sober

and quiet, because my wife can't stand the sound of my typing.

(Unless it's anything like 2008.)