It’s nice
to be nice. But it’s not necessary. And it’s often simply inappropriate.
For
instance, when someone says something you think is preposterous, there’s no nice way to say:
Sorry, friend. That is fucking preposterous.
If someone says a lot of things that you think are preposterous or disingenuous, you smile
and laugh. And at some point, you probably sneer, because the conversation starts to feel like a waste of everybody's time.
My best friend was upset recently by a post of mine that he thought was
unnecessarily mean.
I told
him what I tell other people who criticize me for not being "respectful" enough: You obviously don’t know how strongly I feel about the issue or how determined I am to deliver my message in whatever terms are necessary to get it across.
You can
argue with a person’s ideas, and you should. But the only way to vote on somebody's tone or demeanor is with your feet.
Or, as my
dear departed mom would say, “Fuck them if they can’t take a joke.”
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