More droll Facebook observations from the mild-mannered Chicago graphic designer, Buffy Van Huis.
People on my train are having a "who can be louder" war. The Assholes have a slight edge over the Shitheads.
This kid keeps playing It's a Small World over and over on his radio. Exactly where in the 9 circles of hell am I?
I'm sure there are days the train doesn't smell like an asshole. Today is not that day.
If I had a dollar for each time I heard her Filet-O-Fish ringer, I'd have bloody hands, a free ride in a squad car and $8 toward bail.
The weather in Chicago is like the hot guy at the gym that you now find repulsive because he's just SO sweaty.
This lady's fishnets are so tight, she looks like she's smuggling bread dough in them.
Guy on the train had a bag of chips, a flask, mini DVD, shoes off and unbuttoned pants. He might be my hero.
After my workouts, I look like the love child of Alice Cooper and Courtney Love. THIS is why I don't go to a gym. Yeah, you're welcome.
Guys, if your feet look like a rabid badger has been gnawing on them for the last 3 months, keep that in mind before wearing the flip flops.
Pro tip: If you have gas, you probably shouldn't feel comfortable enough
to nap in public. At least that's what this guy's ass told me.